Catching Up

So, you're back again. I haven't been as faithful at this blogging as I had hoped. My life is dragging on at a pitifully slow pace. Each day I wake up wondering if I am closer to being pregnant or not? Seems like an infinity until I ovulate again.

Anyhow, we have some catching up to do. I am a 33 year old woman with a Ph.D., great husband, okay job and comfy home. What's missing from this picture? Oh, yes, we do have two dogs and a lovely fat cat. Oh, what about Joy pushing the baby carriage...yeah, that's it...that is what is missing!

We were blessed twice before. The first IVF cycle we were told that our embryos were "C" grade at best and our chances of pregnancy were virtually zilch. We transferred three and guess what? We got triplets!

I went through moments of the most intense anxiety realizing that I would have three babies at home. Those were rough days. But, all of this was abruptly taken away from us when I went into pre-term labor at 22 weeks into my pregnancy. I was given an emergency cerclage but it didn't hold. Sarah Noel, Rachel Ayla and Noah Gabriel came into this world but could not stay for long. My husband and I held them until they passed on, a most beautiful and excruciating time of my life.

We got up the nerve to try IVF again this year and I got pregnant again. All seemed well up until my 10 week ultrasound. What we thought was one baby (had seen the heartbeat at seven weeks) was actually identical twins and both had died.

So, here I am, two months after a D&C hoping again. I must be insane.