Waiting in line again for Day 1 of the fertility rollercoaster ride. Yes, my hopes for this cycle have been dashed, I have ordered my last refill of Clomid and am just waiting for the hag to show.
I can't help to feel like somewhat of a failure each month. I know our timing was good, 'materials' were good, so that leaves the odd one out in the equation to be me. Are my eggs rotten or something? Of course, I have made the fateful mistake of letting people know we are ttc. So, I get those anticipatory, hopeful looks each month to which I must respond "no." Not only am I let down, geeesh, I feel like I let the rest of the world down too. Well, I realize it is not as grand as that, but it just feels that way sometimes.
So, I am trying to wrap my ahead around this cycle. I have an appt. to see the doc next week so that I can talk about the "next steps" in this infertility process. I'm afraid we may have to move on to injectibles which worries me because of the multiples factor. There's just no easy answer. Or, maybe the answer is that I have to learn to be patient with this process. Patience...what's that?!
Thanks for hanging with me on this ride...
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3 comments:
Joy, sorry it was negative. Mine was negative yesterday and AF arrived today, just in time for my birthday. With your theology background I am interested in what you think spiritually about IF. Just curious.
Blessings,
StacyG
I'm really sorry. Negatives suck.
(delurking. I like your blog.)
Thanks, ya'll. Negatives do suck. But, I move upward and onward on this journey. When I do finally see two lines, you can be sure I will be rejoicing!!!
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