The Hostess with the Mostest I AM NOT...

My husband, the darling that he is, decided that as a result of our new siding and new deck that we should have a open house holiday party. It didn't sound so bad three weeks ago, but, when it actually was time to start preparing...all hell broke loose. Well, actually it wasn't hell that broke loose, it was my sanity!

I made the unfortunate mistake of waiting until the day before to start cleaning my house. My cleaning frenzy was interrupted by my needing to babysit my godson so that his parents could go work out the details of their car situation after a bad accident (thank God they are all okay!) So, I am cooing and playing with Logan while obsessing about cleaning my bathrooms. All day I cleaned here and there during his nap times. Then, to add to the madness, our contractors show up with the two replacement windows that we had ordered MONTHS AGO and proceed to install them. As soon as I had gotten things neatened up a bit, I then had workmen tromping through my house dragging old windows out, new windows in, and a two inch layer of mud/clay along with them. Oh, joy...

So, it was evening before me and hubby could get to Sam's Club. And, being a typical southerner, I had this huge irrational fear that they wouldn't have the stuff we need...and...panic building...I have over twenty people coming to my dirty house and now they are going to starve! I think it was at that moment that I blurted out to my hubby, "I AM NEVER GOING TO ENTERTAIN EVER AGAIN." He just got that confused but sympathetic look on his face (you know, that 'she's going to have a breakdown, quick, say something nice' look) and gave me a big hug and as he always says when I'm on the verge "it's going to be just fine."

Alas, we made it Sam's and the local grocery store and bought enough food for 100 people. Yep, even today, after the blessed event, I have enough cheese cubes to constipate twenty cows and enough mini quiche to serve an army. I am so glad it is over with, I can't even begin to tell you. I spent all day putzing on my computer in the blissful silence, recovering my inner nirvana and snacking on leftovers.

The only form of HOSTESS I am cut out for is the kind that is associated with TWINKIES...