My hope is for...

Smooth sailing...

It was quite a sigh of relief to have survived the first night of class. My worst fear was of running out of material and having fifty+ students staring at me thinking, "gosh, not only does she have onion breath, she's an idiot!" But, alas, my obsessive preparations left me with at least one-third of the material I amassed uncovered.

I was so pleasantly surprised to see that I managed to lecture for almost two hours and completely lost track of time. I never lose track of time! What a blessing. It reminded me of the first theology class I ever took back at Spring Hill College. I thought that I had arrived at my destination, my vocation, my passion...truly an exciting evening in my life. I'm glad to know that original spark is still there despite the many years I did noting to sustain it.

So, after six years in a doctoral program and many dreams of one day dirtying my outfit with chalk dust, I did it, and I actually liked it. Of course, I suppose that is the deepest fear I harbored--to go through all the schooling and then to think "gee, this teaching gig sucks."

I think it is akin to my silent fear of parenting. That same little doubtfire voice rears a head and says "it won't be all its cracked up to be."

By grace, and grace alone, I know better...thanks be to God.