She's got the look...

Look out academic world--Professor Joy begins her teaching career...

I spent today pouring over my class notes figuring out how I was going to make Christian liturgy, prayer, and sacrament exciting for 18-22 year olds. Good God! What have I gotten myself into?I ambled my way to the copy machine and ran off copies of the syllabus, definitions to know from the first lecture, class discussion materials, etc. I happened upon another professor's syllabus, the priest who is offering the same course as I am, just at another time. So, I craftily made myself a copy and went back to my office to review it and of course to mentally compare it to mine.

I was first amazed to see how much reading he actually hopes the undergrads are going to do. I've been jaded by one of my colleagues who has been teaching undergrads for over twenty years. When I mentioned the carefully chosen textbook I picked out to him he just chuckled and said, "you don't think they are really going to read it do you?"

So, I was modest in my demands, at least I think. I dared to suggest that they read a little and even (gasp) write two papers. I'll undoubtedly have nightmares of seeing "Dr. Joy the Witch" sprawled along the metro walls and of gazing out at fifty students with blank stares on their faces.

However, in comparing myself to Rev. Dr. Sophisticated, I found that my idea of a 'class' is perhaps very old fashioned. He had listed several exercises to be completed on Blackboard and WebCT. I asked a friend of mine what that meant and she said "I think that's when you have the students write the answers on the blackboard." I then knew that she was three paces behind my already lagging technological sophistication.

Therefore, I have resigned myself to be a hip, RETRO professor who will get feedback critiques like "boring," "good for napping," "antique in thinking," "out of touch," etc. Yes, that's right. I am actually going to appear in class (instead of tele-conferencing by video); I am going to hand out syllabi on PAPER (God, how old fashioned and ecologically wasteful); I am going to lecture via my own voice with notes scrawled by my own fingers; and, hold on to the seat of your pants--I'm even going to expect them to take notes with pen and paper and I'm going to write those notes using CHALK on the BLACKBOARD. Gee, how retro postmodern can you get?!

Sigh...just when you think you have brushed up against coolness, you find out that it was just the dust you were tasting from your own nerdvana...