So, I have this nagging ache in the pit of my gut today and I've been trying to figure out what it is. The best I can come up with is my realization that I may only be DAYS from having an embryo or two in my uterus.
This small sparkle of hope is a good thing. With it comes this panicked excitement that real hope, real joy, real anticipation may set in again. At least, I want it to. Alongside my hope is the painful reality of not only the what ifs, but the has beens. But, something stirring deep within wants me to believe that I might be on the threshold of something good.
And, that is a relief. After last night's chemically-induced migraine (there's only so much Lupron and Estrace this poor body can take), I feel as if I have towed a long road for this one and I'm getting tired. After being told to up the Estrace even more, I am hoping that tomorrow's early morning appointment reveals some new instructions that are geared for the finish line.
Hope springs eternal just as my desire for motherhood springs forth furiously...
No comments:
Post a Comment