Digital Editing

I've been playing around with digital photo editing. I have tried the following programs:
Adobe Photoshop Elements 2.0
Nikon Picture Project
Microsoft Digital Image Suite 2006
Corel Paint Shop Pro X

It is embarrassing to admit, but Adobe has a huge learning curve, one that I have not figured out entirely. I know what I want to do with my pictures, but I don't want it to take 500 steps to accomplish. So, I'm asking all of you picture pros out there, what do you use? How do you like it? Did you have to get a Ph.D. in digital graphic design to figure it out?

I would like to beef up my skills beyond editing imperfections, cropping, adding borders, etc. I'd like to learn how to take a picture of someone and make it look like they are on a beach in Hawaii (I suspect I will have to learn the art of layers). Or, take a nice black and white photo and colorize certain parts for a nice creative accent.
How can I make it look like Gabe is staring at a beautiful pool of water, like Narcissus, rather than his mirror? (I think the answer will have something to do with high powered selection tools and a very steady tracing hand...)

How can I make Patches into a grey cat with blue eyes?

Any and all suggestions welcome!