In Memoriam

We give them back to you, O Lord

who first gave them to us; yet as

you did not lose them in the giving,

so we do not lose them by their return...

*

Love is unending,

and the boundary of this mortal life is but a horizon,

and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

*

Dear Sarah, Rachel, and Noah:

It is hard to believe that it has been three years since you appeared briefly on this earth. During the month of February, I can feel a shadow hovering over my soul. It reminds me of the huge space that you occupy in my heart and how no one else can ever fill that place.

I would be lying if I said I didn't still ache for all of you. I miss you. You three stretched the fabric of my being, the very contours of my heart, and I will never be the same. There remains an emptiness deep within that often haunts me. I can only imagine it being healed when I can be near you again, in whatever way or shape that may take throughout eternity.

Occasionally, I can hear your whispers in the wind. A song bird will often convey the patterns of laughter that you three share. These are the sounds that impel me forwards and keep me grounded in the here and now. As always, I feel your presence in my dreams, in the distant tugging of divinity. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are very near our God and safe within heaven's bosom.

Your father and I remember those divine moments we had with you often. You three are intertwined into who we are and how we love. We both know a new truth and strength because of our joy and our grief. We pray to be true to the light that you brought into our lives.

We welcomed your baby brother Gabriel into this world last year. He will grow to know all of you as we share your story with him. You will never be forgotten.

Happy Birthday my precious babies. Mommy and Daddy miss you and love you more than words can express.

Love,

Mommy