It appears that we survived the 2004 holiday season. It has been a nice time visiting with friends and getting caught up on some much needed rest. The last two days I have completely engrossed myself in a new computer game and have reveled in forgetting the outside world.
Christmas this year was harder than I had expected. The loss of our children hit me hard on Christmas eve as I watched the children at church march forward in their costumes for the nativity scene play. One of the two little girls dressed as angels glanced back at me from her Daddy's shoulder. In that moment, I saw the face of all my girls--Sarah and Rachel especially. I can't even explain the pain and longing, the emptiness without them. It was so hard to try to celebrate Jesus' birth, to celebrate anything with the word 'birth' in it.
The next day we opened presents and my Mother gave me probably the best gift ever--a gold heart that has three sets of footprints on the front and the 'footprints' message on the back:
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.
I am so grateful for the gift of my family and for friends who understand us. I am hoping to regain my composure and muster up some fertile hope for 2005.
Cheers to us all as we labor towards our goal...
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2 comments:
Wow.
I cried when I READ what your mother got you, I cannot imagine opening that present. How very sweet.
Take care.
I am sorry you are going through such a tough time.
I cried too...I didn't believe it when I saw it. It will be my favorite piece of jewelry next to the heart she got me that has my triplet babies names on it with the message "Forever in my heart."
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