Okay, so I'm not in my kitchen making lemonade. But, I have picked myself up, dusted off my rickety uterus and will keep plodding along. I have scheduled my hysteroscopy for January 4 and IF they don't have to cauterize, then I can keep on going with my FET. If they do have to bust out the fire torch, then I am out of luck until the next cycle, April-May.
I will be so glad when my vocabulary and daily musings doesn't involve words like "bloated, cycle, protocol, shots, tests, and medical clearance." One day I hope to be whining about my whiny, teething soon to be toddler.
Meanwhile, I enter into limbo time again. I immediately start thinking I should be doing something academic. After all, life is about balancing your loves and I do love teaching. But, my mind and heart are restless and that makes it very difficult to invest my passion in something else right now. I'm not sure my colleagues would understand that. Right now, I'd like to move far out in the country with with soon-to-be-retired husband and raise a child/ren to gether quietly and without any hectic drama. Sure, I'd also like to have my dream professorial job, but right now I have trouble figuring out how to line up all of my loves. I guess I have to trust that it will work out, somehow.
So, I'll be here popping my birth control pills, praying that my cyst pops, that the fluid clears up, that my polyp is wee tiny and won't require any torching to get my uterus back in fighting shape. Maybe I should release a new rendition of "All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth (skip the teeth, gimme a healthy uterus!)"
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